“Unless commitment is made, there’re only promises and hopes but no plans,” says Peter F. Drucker.
You won’t find a better life joy other than nurturing a committed relationship. All human beings aspire for meaningful and long-term bonding. It requires equal efforts from both partners to keep the connection alive and thriving.
How long can someone get excited about dating a new person, hoping like hell to last longer than before?
Ultimately the crucial decision of staying happily after haunts almost everyone at some point in his/her life.
Commitment in a relationship is a decision usually reached through mutual agreement between both partners, although the definition of what constitutes commitment may vary between relationships.
Being Afraid or fear of commitment?
Yes, both phrases sound similar; however, fear of commitment is more complicated than being afraid to commit to someone. The signs in both situations are different and usually depend on an individual’s past experiences, personality, and mindset.
For example, if someone has seen his parents going through a messy divorce, he would naturally feel pessimistic about love and commitment.
Similarly, a person with low self-esteem and insecurities will fear rejection later, so he will not feel comfortable committing.
During my one-to-one sessions with young boys and girls, I observed some common signs that they were afraid of commitment. Some of those are mentioned below:
- Not willing to typecast in “labels.”
- Feel reluctant to make plans too early for the long term.
- Still trying to figure out future plans. Never thought about it.
- Have a feeling that relationships usually end before they begin.
- Most friendships are need-based and superficial.
- Those with a past don’t want to go through the same pain.
- Being in a steady relationship means missing out on specific experiences.
- Carry the fake swag that keeps everyone at arm’s length.
- An introverted, single child who doesn’t share the space with others. The non-adjustable kind that may make any friendship short-lived.
- Self-obsessed, critical of others, don’t want to involve others in their life too much.
People who fear commitment might have noticed these signs while entering any relationship. They not only push people away but may also hurt them in the process. Now that’s the real problem. Let us know more about commitment.
What is a committed relationship?
Committed relationships result from mutual understanding, love, trust, faith, and integrity. One has to be totally devoted and honest to enjoy the fruits of companionship. It runs on providing constant cooperation and support to the partner.
The emotional investment brings a sense of security and control. What kind of values and emotions? It asks for everything you require to build a happy and content space to be with. If you’re looking to get engaged in a relationship, here are some steps to consider:
- Communication: Open and honest communication is the very beginning of a solid foundation. You are the right match if you can talk while the other person listens and responds. Ensure that you both are on the same page and respect each other’s desires and boundaries.
- Building Trust: Trust is the brick that gives stability and strength to your relationship. Be reliable, keep your promises, and demonstrate your commitment through your actions. Trust doesn’t develop overnight. Patience and consistency is the key.
- Emotional Intimacy: Develop intimacy by sharing your thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities. Be empathetic and supportive, creating a safe space for your partner to do the same.
Spend Quality Time Together
How much time have you spent as a partner in any relationship for the last two or more weeks? Engaging in meaningful activities and sharing experiences can strengthen the bond between partners. Eventually, foster a deeper connection. Spending quality time is one of the most prominent signs of commitment. My husband likes to watch Netflix series and Amazon Prime movies. In contrast, I don’t enjoy that, but I do sit with him, and we feel each other presence. Chatting over a cup of tea is not at all a bad idea. Having a packed day and busy schedule, most men and women find it challenging to spare time for a couple of things. Although your partner somehow manages to make up for the loss, you must acknowledge it by reciprocating with a smile.
- Respect and Support: Your partner’s opinions, choices, and individuality may differ from others. Nevertheless, you are expected to support us during challenging times, celebrate each other’s success, and learn from failures.
- Resolve Conflicts Constructively: Disagreements are natural in any relationship. Learn to address conflicts calmly and respectfully, finding solutions together. Avoid harmful behaviors like yelling or name-calling.
- Understand Each Other’s Needs: Be attentive to your partner’s needs and be present when necessary. Mature couples portray their partners in the best possible light, minimize their flaws, and emphasize their positive attributes. Accommodating each other’s needs contribute to a fulfilling relationship.
- Be Patient and Realistic: Building a lifetime relationship is like creating a masterpiece that takes time and skill. You will be disappointed to expect the moon from your partner. Learn how to accept and improve. Reels are not actual. Allow the relationship to bloom naturally, and don’t press the panic button.
- Mutual growth and support: When both partners are committed to the relationship, they work together to overcome challenges and achieve personal and shared goals. This support system encourages individual development and growth. Understanding each other’s vision for the future can help align your paths and solidify your commitment.
- Express Love and Affection: How often do you express your love to others? Small gestures, like compliments and acts of kindness, can go a long way in nurturing a committed relationship. The relationship coach Arthur Aron, a psychology professor and director at Interpersonal Relationships Laboratory located at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, tells the beautiful trick The secret? Do something new and different — and make sure you do it together.
Dr. Aron reports that partners who often share new experiences say more tremendous boosts in marital happiness than those who share pleasant but familiar experiences.’
- Be Yourself: Authenticity is vital in any long-term relationship. Be true to yourself, and encourage your partner to be the same. A strong bonding requires acceptance and love for each other’s genuine selves.
Remember that commitment is a choice and requires effort from both partners. Being with someone who shares your values and is equally committed to the relationship is essential. Take your time with commitment; take the time to know your partner and ensure that your feelings and intentions align before making a serious commitment.
Love from the soul