Relationships are not easy to handle. Have you ever wondered why there is so much resentment in relationships today? What is missing between two persons that they cannot see each other anymore? It seems like anything and everything eventually turns into a fight. What prompts adults or even teenagers to change their status multiple times to “in the relationship” and then “complicated” to “single and happy”?
Is it due to a lack of faith and trust? Or Is it unwillingness to adjust and make little compromises?
People may need more patience to develop mutual understanding and give space to each other. Work pressures, social comparisons, and the desire for perfection lead to further complications. In any relationship, common mistakes that spoil the show can hinder its growth and harmony. Keep reading to get a pulse of what may be going wrong with relationships and how to fix these issues!
The biggest mistakes that damage the relationship – How to fix the red flags to build a stronger relationship
Let’s look at them one by one:
1. Lack of or No Communication at All: Communication is the soul n spirit of any healthy relationship. Being judgmental and making assumptions about your partner’s thoughts and feelings can create a rift between both. People who fail to communicate effectively invite misunderstandings, unresolved conflicts, and emotional distance. Is he or she committed for a lifetime? What if she feels hurt? Who is going to initiate the talk? How to address sensitive issues peacefully? Who is going to say sorry and start fresh? All these issues can be easily sorted out if the partners remain in communication all the time.
Solution: Prioritize open and honest communication, actively listen to your partner, and express your fears and concerns. Nurture a comfortable space where individuals can freely express themselves and work together to find common ground. I experienced this in my married life by sharing with my spouse all the big and small things that happened, which has been so helpful.
2. Neglecting Boundaries: In relationships, boundaries remind you where you stop and start and where someone else stops and starts,” explains Robin Stern, Ph.D., co-founder and associate director of the Yale Centre for Emotional Intelligence, who is also the author of The Gaslight Effect. Healthy boundaries are crucial in maintaining a healthy balance between individuality and togetherness.
If you fail to do so, it may lead to feelings of resentment, intrusion, and a loss of personal identity. Sometimes “people don’t set boundaries because they’re afraid of disappointing people or feel guilty about setting boundaries,” says Dr.Orloff.
Setting boundaries is a form of self-care. It is relevant even when dealing with siblings, teenage children, and married sons and daughters. We all tend to get carried away while showing ownership in relations. What to ask and avoid is an art to have a healthy atmosphere at home.
Solution: In relationships with family members, friends, co-workers, and romantic partners, maintaining healthy boundaries is so much required. It makes you feel emotionally comfortable and safe, explains Judith Orloff, MD, a member of the psychiatric clinical faculty at UCLA and author of The Empath’s Survival Guide.
Discuss your needs, preferences, and limits with your partner. Please respect each other’s boundaries. Communicate and renegotiate them as the relationship evolves. Remember, limitations to restrict or control; create a foundation of trust and mutual respect.
3. Taking Each Other for Granted: Look at some examples in the Cambridge dictionary while searching for the meaning of taking something for granted.
“I do so much for him; he takes me for granted.”
“Don’t you know how lucky you are to live in a place like this? You take it all for granted.”
“She knows she’s very privileged – she doesn’t take it for granted.”
Relatable? All the above statements show how common it is to fall into the trap of taking take people or situations for granted in any relationship.
Taking each other for granted erodes the bond. It further leads to disconnection and resentment. It can manifest as neglecting to express appreciation, showing indifference, or assuming their efforts and presence are guaranteed.
Solution: Compliments and more compliments work here! When was the last time you genuinely gave that? Make sure it comes straight from the heart.
Appreciate your partner’s big and small contributions. Even something as simple as making coffee for both of you in the morning deserves applause. Don’t ever assume your partner already knows you’re grateful. Plus, when they receive positive feedback, they’ll do even more for you, leading to an ongoing cycle of appreciation.
Buy gifts for each other and celebrate the big and small wins together. Show genuine interest and get involved in the activities they do.
Invest time and effort into nurturing the relationship. Remember to prioritize quality time, affection, and acts of kindness to keep the love alive.
4. Setting expectations too high: Today’s definition of love and bonding is far from reality. Most of them visualize Instagram kind of perfect companionship, chasing relationship goals and hashtags by creating killer stories and trends. If your relationship gets approved and applauded by the online community, then only it is worth having. Failing in expectations results in depression and a sense of failure.
Solution: Unfortunately, there is no other solution to this except reminding yourself time and again that the reel stuff is not the real stuff. It is a part of an influential market. Scroll, watch, have fun, and forget. That’s it! Your people are real people with real struggles, so don’t keep unrealistic expectations from them.
5. Carrying the past into the present: Let us all except this with a pinch of salt that everyone has a past. A lot of people have been hurt. But the worst possible thing is to project someone else’s mistakes onto the person with you right now. Healing helps if you just had a breakup. Can’t get over the trauma of betrayal? Seek professional help. Believe me it can cause havoc in your relationships and daily life in many ways. Things can fall apart by past baggage. And while it’s easier said than done, leave the past gracefully and try not to compare.
Solution: Increase happiness and abundance related activities, try out self-healing techniques, professional advice, meditation, practice gratitude.
By being mindful, you can create a stronger, more fulfilling relationship built on trust, understanding, and mutual growth. I hope this article helped you find some clarity on red flags and how you can fix them. Remember being with someone forever is not fairy-tale. You will have to make it work for you.
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Love from Soul