Today’s prompt asks, “Do you hold grudges or do you believe in forgive and forget?”
Why should I forgive and forget?
Read my previous response to this prompt.
Now I will say what I want to.
I don’t know why this prompt is so close to daily post team. Frequently asked. In fact it is the most favorite question of counselors too.
Seriously. Whenever we have counseling sessions in the schools organised for teen agers the first thing they ask to students is do you forgive or believe in ‘tit for tat’? Do you believe in revenge or do you forgive others?
Then the counselor teaches them about how harmful is to hold grudges or escalating the things and finish their lecture with their favorite line, “Let bygones be bygones.”Â
I wonder why they try to make it sound so simple. Aren’t they try to make them week in the name of spirituality. Yes, I agree we must be tolerantÂ but not at our self- respect. What’s wrong in catching bull by it’s horns?Â
Is it so easy to forget if someone humiliates you publicly? Is it possible to respect your boss forgetting that how he purposely neglects your presence and good work in front of others? The obvious answer would be ‘No’.
There is no need to forgive a person if he has knowingly or unknowingly Â harmed you. There is no way one can revert the action as the damage has been done by then.
You can forget and forgive your friends, family and children but not everyone who come across your way in work place, social circles and life who hurts, humiliates or insults you. I mean I can’t.Â
Someone told me few days back that ego is not such a bad thing and at times ego is like your self respect and dignity which people don’t like and termed you as a egoistic person. I liked this logic and was relaxed as many a times it happened with me. People say I have that oomph in me. It is not high headedness, it is just my confidence and attitude which people cannot digest. I don’t pretend to be bold and give my opinions often. It’s just that I’m like this by nature. They feel insecure, feel threatened and Â try to pull me down, spread rumors about me and finally create problems for me. Mind you they do it deliberately. Now do you expect me to forget and forgive?????
They don’t deserve my sympathies rather I will avoid them, talk to them being diplomatic when meet and smile but at the same time…..
I will not sulk, cry or crib about it.
I won’t forget what they did to me.
I may Â forgiveÂ but I’ll remain careful.
For others, I will keep on doing good to them.