When in Love Part 4 ( A FLASH FICTION CHAIN)


The following work of flash fiction is in collaboration with my fellow blogger Jithin of Pho Trablogger .The picture that you see above ,is his creative photography which inspired this piece of fiction writing . Please click HERE and provide your valuable feedback on this picture. Also you can check out his blog for more wonderful pictures and travel related posts….I am sure you will enjoy them …

 I have written part 4. Here are the links to the first THREE parts for you to read before your read my part of the story 😉

Part 1 : Written by Fiction Limbo

Part 2 : Written by RoseRed

Part 3 : Written by Sweety Kannoth

Here is my story part-4. Read on….

James nearly missed his heart beat. He felt pain in his chest and small drops of sweat appeared on his forehead. He whispered, “Mark uncle, you can’t do this to me. How can you sell your motor bike just to help me?”  Oh, God he loved his bike so much. In fact it was his first love. He sat near the staircase, looked tired and sad, he closed his eyes, the memories of childhood flashed in his mind. How Mark uncle who was very close to his father, used to take aunt Marie, his wife and himself for a long drive to the bridge at the outskirts of the town. There they both used to walk in hands while he enjoyed his roasted corn from a near by stall. That was the weekly ritual for them, “The awesome threesome” his father named them. 

As he was lost in his childhood tales, a loud horn almost pierced his ears, uncle Mark was blowing it sitting on the motorcycle. James opened his eyes and stood instantly, he shouted with joy to see Mark and moreover he was relieved to see his bike. He ran to greet him.

” Where did you go without informing me? You are no more a  young casanova that girls will be hovering around you?” James teased him while keeping his coat on the cot lying outside the verandah.

“Are you jealous of my youthful stature? I can still make Hollywood actors run for their money. Girls try to seduce me even now. It’s me who doesn’t feel like dating anymore.” he said coughing slightly.

“By the way how come you are here without any work. Didn’t you received the check? Is there anything else you want from me?”  Mark was ready with series of questions.

“Can’t I visit you without any specific reason? You mean to say I’m selfish?” I was just inquisitive to know how you managed this big amount for me” replied James.

“What do you mean by that, young man? You are like son,  I don’t have to beg, borrow, steal to give something to my son. My few insurance policies got matured and this job is very important for you. Go and do the needful. You can always pay me back. I am indebted to your father for lending me money at various occasions.”  said Mark and gave a pat on his back.

“Tracy is in family way. I have no job. Bills have to be paid. How am I going to manage both the ends, I don’t know uncle…” James was unable to speak cause of the lump in his throat.

“Life is like this my son ! It is a big roller-coaster ride. One has to constantly struggle to achieve success in life. You are fortunate to have a wife like Tracy. She is the balancing factor in your home. You need not worry about anything. Just look after her and the coming baby well. Let God be with you.” He took James in his arms and hugged him tightly.

James was feeling lighter, infact much better. He said goodbye and left for his home. As the voice of his bike gone bleak, Mr. Patrick came out from the big bush of  yellow courage flowers. He came closer to the old man and shook hands. ” I am touched to see your affection for James. Why didn’t you tell him the truth? He was mature enough to understand the situation.” enquired Mr.Patrick.

“There was no need to distract his focus from his family. Poor boy was already feeling embarrassed not to stand on his own. I didn’t want to break him down further by telling that I kept this ancestral house on mortgage. As it is, this is his property once we both leave this world since we don’t have kiddos. He is more than a son to us. There is no point gifting him this later on when he needs money now so I took this hard decision to shift in a rented apartment.”  Mark spoke with care.

“You have been living like a king through out your life and at the fag end wouldn’t it uncomfortable for you to stay somewhere else. What about your sick wife? Will she adapt to the new environment ?” said Mr.Patrick in a concerned voice while sipping coffee.

“She is more than willing to do this. You will be surprised to know it was she who forced me to take this step.” he looked with emotional eyes to Marie.

“I only want this lovely flower bush to go with me.” Marie said softly.

“You know Mr.Patrick, this bush sapling was gifted to me by him on our house warming party. He knew I love yellow flowers so he searched the whole market to get it in one shop finally. It was not as healthy as it is today. We both nurtured and watered it for so many months to make it grow nicely. This is as old as our love. I can’t think about my existence  without its sweet smell around me all the time.” Marie went and plucked one flower from it and gave it to her husband who tucked it in her bun lovingly. 

” Now it is time to take my wife for a drive. I have to show her our new home. Will you come along with us gentleman?” Mark got up to leave.

“No I think I must leave now. Nice to meet you both. I will pray to Almighty for your grandson’s success so that he can earn sufficient money to get this house free from mortgage soon.” Patrick’s voice was trembling. 

He kept on looking at the elderly couple, especially the wife who was holding her husband tightly and the flower was still tucked in her bun….

James wanted to tell Tracy about grandpa’s home visit, he had to pack the stuff, necessary documents were to be kept and bank accounts needed to be checked….so much to do and discuss with Tracy but where she is?

You will get to know all in next part written by I-read



33 Responses

    1. Hi, I loved your story . Actually I continued with the original part 3 and did not notice the changes,moreover by the time Sweety edited I had already written my part. I’ m out and can’t edit on the phone. I will surely do the editing once I m back. Thanks for the kind words.

      1. I have edited it. Actually I had to think how Mark should be introduced so that I don’t have to change the whole plot. Now you can read it and give your views. 🙂

  1. Mark and Mike are the saviours!! 😀 Good one again. I appreciate the effort that you took in writing this one. You really are a perfectionist!!

  2. Hi Rashmi I am so sorry for the whole ordeal ! I edited it in the afternoon , and hoped you read my message before putting up your story… Anyway as always you have put your heart into it…great job indeed 🙂

    1. Thanks dear. I was so busy through out the day . By the time Jathin apprised me about the changes I had posted it and left for the event. I am happy I could write at least. 🙂

  3. I liked your details, the sapling, the yellow flower in the hair and your including “God be with you,” since it definitely helps to brighten everyone’s lives. Nice story telling, S n S!!

  4. Yet
    Another twist it’s an effortless read you are holding my attention at the end of my seat, again can’t wait to read on tension is building the peak is about to climb here I go

    1. It is so nice of you to encourage me with your sweetest comment on my page. Thanks for the patient reading. 🙂 Why don’t you join us in nrxt chain starting next week.

    2. I am always looking for new paths to walk upon. So I had found you and a host of others. Friction limbo started it all. I am so glad to find you all with you and yours fresh approach to writing. I look forward to keeping up and to reading. Inspiration is key for the fruits are the many but only the few are ripe. Merry ha ha
      As always The Professional Cannon

      1. That’s so nice. You can also join us for the new chain starting today. I have to write part 1 this time. You can contact Pro Tra blog to enroll yourself. Link is inserted in post. 🙂 Thanks for the visit.

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